Inescapable tragedy

As I look back on my work in nursing over the last couple years, I reflect on the tragedy of death...particularly death in children. While I was blessed with some really amazing experiences in the cancer center at Phoenix Children's, I knew I couldn't handle watching more patients suffer through chemotherapy or seeing another family suffer because their little one had died.

So, it's ironic that after leaving the cancer center, crossing the ocean, and coming to Africa, I am faced with death all over again...somehow A Ward has become the palliative care ward...it wasn't intended to be, but several patients from the outreach in Benin made their way back to the ship because it was the only place they knew to go...Vincent is battling cancer right now and just recently, we had another woman come to the ship who also has cancer..

But among the palliative care patients in A Ward was a small little girl named Anicette...Last night was the first time I saw her...I had heard about her when she was in Benin...my friend Kelly had asked me to pray for little Ani, who was in the feeding program and needed to gain weight for her surgery. I had prayed and God had answered, as little Ani got big enough to have her surgery.

Ani came back to the ship a little over a week ago for more feeding issues...her weight had dropped considerably and she had regressed to the size of a one-month old, in spite of her past progress and age (over 1 year old)...Last night was the first time I saw Ani...the little girl I had prayed for from across the ocean...I felt somehow connected to this little girl through past prayers...and now I saw her...but what I saw broke my heart. She was like a little girl out of a tv ad for children in Ethiopia...completely emaciated and tiny. The doctors were thinking that she had some kind of metabolic issue because of her dramatic regression.

Today, little Ani took a turn for the worse...I wasn't there..I had already gone to bed after working all night...I didn't even hear the overhead page for the emergency team to go to A Ward...but, it was too late...they tried to code little Ani, but she didn't make it...she went home to Jesus this morning.

Even though I had just met little Ani, it broke my heart to hear the sad news...it seems like a lot of people on the ship were hit hard by the tragedy. She was  a precious little girl and we all loved her. Her death has brought me back to the reality of this world we live in. It is amazing to be a part of an organization that brings hope and healing through the surgeries we do...But, the hope is so much bigger than having a fixed cleft lip, a tumor removed, eyes that can see, or legs that can walk. The hope is found in Jesus.

I'm reminded of the heart of all we do....it's all about our hope for eternity...no matter how good our efforts may be, there will still be suffering and pain in the world. We cannot fix it all. But, whether our patients have 4 weeks to live or 40 more years to go, Jesus is the one who ultimately brings hope...new, straight legs that are able to walk bring a bright future...but how much greater is the hope of walking on the streets of heaven!

I pray that in the work that all of us do here, we will keep our focus on bringing the greatest hope of all..the hope of knowing Jesus and sharing Him with every single one of our precious patients...after all, life is fleeting and we never know when it could be their last day.