Well, this week I had an eye-opening experience so to speak...It started off as a pretty normal day...My friend Megan decided that we should go for a swim in the morning at a nearby pool and told me that her brother-in-law would be coming along with us. When he arrived, I noticed he was holding onto Megan's arm..."That's odd, I thought." Then I looked at his face and saw him squinting his eyes...and then it dawned on me that he was blind. I was a bit surprised and wasn't really sure what to say or do. She hadn't mentioned anything about him being blind, but then again, they were both used to it.
I guess I've never really stopped long enough to actually process what life would be like without the gift of sight. Sure, I've played those games growing up where you have to lead each other around and appreciate that you have eyes to see...But, it's kind of different when you actually meet someone who is blind and spend time with them.
As we walked in, Megan went inside to the locker room while Cuibis held on to my arm as we walked down to the pool. He proceeded to ask me a series of questions about our surroundings, where he should leave his belongings, etc. I was a little bit caught off guard at first....for him, this was everyday life...people were constantly describing things to him that his eyes could not see so that he could create a picture in his mind of what was around him. I stopped for a second to think...I didn't want to awkwardly tell him too much or too little about the setting...this was all very new to me. I stumbled through some descriptions, walked him to the side of the pool, and proceeded to explain where he should go to swim his laps. Unfortunately, they were cleaning the pool that morning and had a big hose running across the pool, so it was a little bit challenging to swim laps, especially for a person who can't see.
Cuibis requested lane lines, but they told him it wouldn't be possible today due to the cleaning. But that wouldn't stop him. He shrugged and proceeded to start swimming his laps. I know that when I swim without goggles and can't open my eyes under water, I rarely swim in a perfectly straight line. Well, I suppose that's a bit what it's like for a blind person to swim...except that when they come out of the water, they can't see where they've ended up. But, Cuibis was very determined and wouldn't let anything stop him. He even kept Megan and I on track, telling us how many laps we needed to swim of each stroke. It was a bit like swim team. I had a hundred different things going through my head...I was so intrigued by this man. I had never actually known a blind person before. What was life like for him and his family, not being able to drive or see his wife's face or his new little girl who was just born a few months ago. "Ok, girls, three more laps of freestyle," Cuibis called out, interruptng my thoughts.
We finished up our laps and started heading home. Cuibis had lots of questions for me about the ship and what I'd be doing in Africa. The more I talked to him, the more I realized that even though he was physically limited, he didn't let his disability keep him from living a full and fulfilled life. He had a good job, a wonderful family, and an amazing faith in the God who created Him. As we dropped him off at his house and said goodbye, I was left with more than a sense of pity...I was inspired.
It seemed fitting that I would encounter a blind person right before embarking on my next adventure with the Africa Mercy. One of the most common surgeries we do is cataract removals. Many people are eagerly waiting for us in Sierra Leone....among them, I'm sure there are many who cannot see or have limited vision due to cataracts and other eye problems. I'm so excited to be a part of the miracle of sight that will take place in their lives...For someone like Cuibis, who has been blind from birth, there is no surgery to open his eyes. But, ironically, this blind man is the one that God used to open my eyes to the world of those who have no physical sight, yet the amazing things that He is able to do in and through them...one day, Cuibis will have new eyes in heaven and he'll be able to see a place that is more beautiful than anywhere he could've ever seen on earth...For now, my heart is with those in Sierra Leone who are blind both physically and spiritually...I know we will see many eyes opened his year!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
From one home to another
Well, the time has really flown and I'm already leaving one home to head back to the next! Tomorrow I'll be getting on a plane and heading back to Africa! It has been such a blessing to be home during this time and to spend this time with family and friends, work at PCH, and even do a little bit of traveling.
About this time last year, I was heading to the ship for the very first time, full of excitement and anticipation for what God had in store. And I have to say, God blew me away by completely exceeded my expectations! I had an awesome experience and literally saw lives transformed, including my own. I was also blessed to get to know so many amazing people and to experience a great community of people who love Jesus and are living out His calling on their lives. Although I faced my fair share of challenges at times, I got through them with God's help and grew in the process.
So, although I'm sad to be leaving friends and family behind for another year, I'm excited to see all that God does in and through me in Sierra Leone! I have a feeling that this year is going to be just as amazing, if not better than the last! But, it's always hard leaving people that we love. I started feeling a bit sad this week, as I left my last Sunday night service of the year at my church and walked out of Phoenix Children's Hospital after my last shift of the year. It's also been sad giving friends and families the last hugs I will give them in 2011 (although I do have to say, they are always GREAT hugs because they have to last for an entire year!)...But, then a good friend reminded me that I am blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who are worth missing!
The goodbyes really have been so much better this time around. I think that people realize that a year sounds long, but really does go by fast. And since my friends and family made it eight months without me last year, it makes things much easier to leave again for just a few months longer. It has also been great sharing the pictures and stories with everyone while I've been home to really explain why I love Mercy Ships and want to go back to Africa to volunteer again.
I would have to say that the hardest part of going back to the ship is leaving my sweet little nieces and nephews behind...they are so young and it's hard for them to understand why their Aunt Becca is leaving them for so long. While they enjoyed getting fun little gifts from Africa after my last trip, my oldest two nephews really struggle with the fact that I'm going to miss their birthdays...again. But, that's just a part of serving on the mission field...you can't be home for everything. And of course, I left fun little presents with my mom to give the kids for their birthdays so that they don't feel forgotten :)
I would have to say that the hardest part of going back to the ship is leaving my sweet little nieces and nephews behind...they are so young and it's hard for them to understand why their Aunt Becca is leaving them for so long. While they enjoyed getting fun little gifts from Africa after my last trip, my oldest two nephews really struggle with the fact that I'm going to miss their birthdays...again. But, that's just a part of serving on the mission field...you can't be home for everything. And of course, I left fun little presents with my mom to give the kids for their birthdays so that they don't feel forgotten :)
There are quite a few other things that I'm going to miss besides the many amazing people in my life in Arizona...mostly just the conveniences of American life....a car to drive wherever/whenever, a quiet room all to myself (I do love my roommates, but sometimes a little peace & quiet is very hard to come by on the ship!), Walmart (Sometimes buying two things can take nearly an hour in the market, which can be really frustrating!), hot showers that last longer than 2 minutes, and the fact that I don't stand out as a foreigner in the States, among a few other things...
But, leaving my American life and all its comforts is such a small sacrifice in comparison with the joy I find in seeing so many lives changed on the ship....in fact, I wouldn't even consider it a sacrifice. I truly feel blessed to have the privilege to serve as God's hands and feet in Africa and I'm so thankful that He has called me to this ministry.
| Today, God reminded me of my ultimate purpose as I read this verse: "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." (Philippians 3:7-8). In the end, it's all about gaining Christ! As I think of all the hurting, broken people who are desperately waiting to find hope and healing for their physical illnesses, along with the brokenness of their souls, I realize that it is in reaching out to each of them that I will find Christ. And that is where God wants to meet me...in the faces of the hurting and hopeless, the lost sheep who need to find their way to the Good Shepherd. So, as I leave for Africa, I don't feel as though I'm leaving home to step into the great unknown...I know that I am safe in the palm of God's hand and I look forward to going back to my home on the ship and my life in Africa...I'm sure He has heaps of new adventures in store for me! | ||||||
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Haiti
Well, this last week was an absolute whirlwind, but an amazing experience! I had the opportunity to spend a week in Haiti with Samaritan's Purse helping out with the cholera outbreak. Two nurses that I had served with on the ship (Beth and Becky) had told me about it about a month before and we were all able to arrange our trips the same week. In fact, all three of us even got to work together on night shift!
Beth, me, and Becky
The cholera clinic we served at was right beside a place called "City Solei," mainly filled with slums. So, the majority of patients arriving during the night had walked over from there since the "tap-taps" (taxi trucks) only ran during the day. The clinic itself was a compilation of large tents with separate mens, womens, and pediatrics areas. The patients would first come through the triage area and if they were sick enough, they would be admitted. Otherwise, they were given oral re-hydration liquid to drink and once they "passed" their oral challenge and could keep down the fluids, they were given education on cholera prevention and treatment and sent home.
For those who did get admitted, the treatment was mainly IV fluids, along with a few oral medications. Once we were able to switch them over to oral re-hydration and they could keep it down, we discharged them and sent them over to the education tent to learn more about cholera treatment and prevention. They also received tablets to make safe water to drink and materials to create their own oral re-hydration fluid at home.
During our time at the cholera clinic, there were multiple times that my friends and I said we felt like we were living in an episode of M.A.S.H. There was the element of working inside of a tent instead of an actual building, patients all lined up in a big row, homemade IV bag warmer, occasional bugs jumping around, and the MREs (the already made meals that they use in the army...they make dinner time an adventure with the special heat-activating mechanism).
Our makeshift IV fluid warmer
Eating our MRE army-style meals
I have lots of memories and stories I could share, but I'm going to highlight two of the more meaningful experiences for me. The first happened the second night when I got moved from the Peds ward to the Womens ward. For the most part, most nurses freak out when they usually work with adults and have to work with kids....well, the same is true in the reverse. Most Peds nurses just don't enjoy working with adults as much. The ladies were very sweet, but let's be honest, I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to work in Peds that night.
But, a few hours into the shift, one of the women needed some help with her baby. He was crying and crying and she was too weak from all the vomiting to even sit up and try to breastfeed him. So, I took the crying baby and managed to get him calm while a friend went to look for formula. She managed to find some in our supply room, but unfortunately there were no bottles. So, I sat there with my precious little five month old and fed him his food with a 5cc syringe...it was precious. Another nurse mentioned to me "See, you get your Peds fix after all." It was true. God knew that I needed a precious little baby to cuddle and feed that night. And He knew that momma wouldn't have the strength or energy for the next few hours to feed her baby. So, I got to take over the responsibility. And I have to say, I was so thankful for the opportunity!
The second experience that really impacted me and built my faith involved another little baby...a four-month old named Deuli (well, that was the nickname I gave him...his real name had another 5 letters tacked on the end and I had a hard time pronouncing it!). My encounter with Deuli came the very last night. He had been very sick when he was first admitted to the hospital. He was so dehydrated that they couldn't even get an IV in him. Instead, they had to place an intraosseous needle into his bone marrow. But, unfortunately, his fluid status had been over-corrected before I came on shift. When I got report on this little guy, I was really concerned about him. But, his little body had seemed to hold up just fine (kids can sometimes surprise us!) so I told our doctor what was going on and we agreed to keep an eye on him.
So, the funny thing about kids is that their little bodies can compensate for a long time and then suddenly crash. That's exactly what happened with our little Deuli. In the middle of the night, he suddenly started to crash. His respiration rate had increased and he was working harder and harder to breathe. We realized he needed medication to get all the extra fluid off of his lungs, so I quickly ran to the pharmacy and got the medicine. But, even after he had two doses, he hadn't really seemed to improve. His breathing had started to slow down, but not in a good way. He hadn't slowed his breathing because his lungs were relaxing. He had slowed his breathing because he was losing his drive to breathe. He had been working so hard that he just didn't have the energy to keep going. He looked like he was about to give up. It was one of the scariest things I have ever had to watch. We weren't in a hospital setting with all the equipment to provide drastic interventions. Someone had found an ET tube and some other supplies in case we did need to intubate him to maintain his airway, but the supplies weren't optimal for his size and we didn't want to have to put a tube down in this setting.
As I sat beside little Deuli watching him do all that he could to take the next breath, I felt a sense of fear and desperation. I kept begging him to keep going "Come on buddy, you can do it. Keep on breathing!" I kept repeating that over and over again. I felt like his little cheerleader, pushing him to keep going. As we discussed as a team what our options were, it dawned on us that we hadn't yet prayed. We laid hands on little Deuli and began to pray. Then our doctor called over the Haitian pastors who were there and they began to pray as well. We moved Deuli and his mom over to an open area with all our supplies in case we had to go to extreme measures. People were talking about what we could do if we had to intubate him, but I kept telling myself: "No! We don't even need to talk about that...we're not going to have to do anything else. He's gonna be ok!" I was grasping for all the faith I could find in those difficult moments. "Please, God, don't let him die!" I prayed under my breath.
The Haitian pastors continued to pray and a couple began to sing. And then, I looked over and Deuli had relaxed a bit. He was still working hard, but you could tell his little body was heading the right direction. A few more minutes passed and he continued to improve. I pinched his little foot to precipitate a cry and he took in a few good, deep breaths as he cried (I know it seems mean, but breathing was the biggest priority and it was necessary to get him some more oxygen in that situation). It was the best sound I had heard all night. It reminded me of the first cry a baby has at birth. Everyone waits for that sound to make sure their little lungs are working. So, it was such a relief to hear Deuli crying and to see him breathing a little more normally. He had made a quick turnaround. And I knew that it was only prayer and the grace of God that had pulled him through.
Me & Deuli, my miracle baby
I will never forget that night and the way that God met us there in that place...in a place without monitors, without oxygen, without all the medical equipment we depend on in the hospital. Sometimes all you can do is pray. And that is enough. Miracles do still happen.
My entire experience in Haiti was truly amazing! I loved the staff (especially working with my friends from Mercy Ships!), the Haitian nurses and translators who worked with us, the sweet little patients and their families, and even the weather (it was nice and cool at night). I met some really amazing people and bonded with them in a special way that you don't experience over one week's time back home and was encouraged by the servant's heart I saw in those around me...And of course, my faith grew in a HUGE way! Even though I was only in Haiti for a week, I saw things I had never seen before and I can honestly say that I came home a different person. What a great way to kick off the new year! :)
Our Peds Team
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Blessed
Over the last couple months that I've been home, there have been so many times that I have found myself so overwhelmed by God's goodness to me and His blessings in my life. Last week, as I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family, I was reminded once again of how much God has given me. It has been such a gift to have this time at home with my family, to spend time with my precious nieces and nephews, catch up with old friends, make new friends, and have my old job back at Phoenix Children's Hospital.
It has been fun taking care of patients in the "western" setting again, despite the fact that there are many days that I have to really pray that God will give me patience with the high maintenance patients and parents that I take care of on occasion (You know, like the ones who are demanding for one thing after another and then complain that they didn't get enough ice in their water...there's always that temptation to tell them there are plenty of people in the world who don't even have clean water, but then I realize that I need to show grace to people who might not have that perspective just as God has shown grace to me). It has been amazing sharing with my coworkers about my experiences in Africa and encouraging them to get involved too! I've been surprised that even some of the doctors and nurses I didn't know very well before I left have shown interest in what I did in Africa, asked to see pictures, or requested more information about Mercy Ships. It always excites me when other people catch the vision....even if they aren't necessarily ready to pack up and move to Africa, it is so refreshing when I see other people open their eyes to what is going on in other parts of the world and want to do something about it!
I have also really enjoyed the opportunity to do some traveling since I've been home. In October, I got to go down to Mexico with the ministry I used to work with (Love Walks). It was so fun to see lots of old friends down there and I was surprised and touched that a lot of the kids (even the younger ones!) remembered me! In November, I was able to attend a medical missions conference in Kentucky and had a fun reunion there with several of the nurses I knew from the ship who also came out for the conference. After the conference, I was able to spend a few days with Jen (one of my best friends from the ship) and then went to Nashville to spend a few days with my cousins. Last weekend, I got to travel down to California with my dad to see our extended family in the San Diego area and had a great time with everyone there. I was even able to see two friends from the ship who are currently working in San Diego and another friend who used to work with me in Flagstaff, who now lives down there.
So, while things have been busy with travel, work, and catching up with friends and family, this has been such a fruitful and refreshing time for me. Lots of times, people will ask me if I miss Africa and the ship...and the answer is always yes and no...while I do miss it, I am so thankful to be home and I want to be fully present during the time that I'm at home. So, even though I am excited to be back in Africa next year and looking forward to seeing all my friends back at the ship, I am soaking in every moment that I am here, enjoying the beautiful blessings that God has poured out on me in Phoenix.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
God's perfect timing
Well, it has been a little over two weeks that I've been home now and while that may not seem like a very long time, it seems REALLY long when I'm used to being super busy with work, ministry, and social activities day in and day out....then, suddenly life slows down and I don't have a job to go to every day, fewer social activities, and quieter days. God keeps reminding me that He wants me to "be still and know that He is God."
But to be honest, I have been a little restless...I tell God that I want to be DOING something...week one was ok, week two got harder, and by the time I hit week three, I sort of just hit a wall...I had been in contact with the manager of the department I was hoping to go back to at Phoenix Children's and then suddenly there was silence...a whole week of silence...I started to question why God had brought me home, where he wanted me, and why nothing was happening....You're probably thinking "But it hasn't even been three weeks yet...just wait!" But, I have realized even more through this that waiting is a huge challenge for me...
Over the last few weeks, one verse keeps coming back to me: "They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)...It seems like I haven't been able to get away from this verse...I've come across it in devotional readings, heard it on the radio, and even had someone pray that verse over my life at church...By that time, I was saying "Ok, God, I get the point...I need to wait." He also really struck me with Isaiah 64:4 "No eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for Him."
So, I have to admit, I'm not so good at waiting (if you haven't already noticed)...But, even in the waiting, I know that God has good things in store for me...I was talking to a good friend about the job situation and how I was frustrated being home but not being able to work. Then, he gently pointed out the possibility that maybe I was struggling with it so much because I had been finding my worth in my work...it wasn't easy to admit, but I realized that he was right...that was a big part of the problem. It's easy to feel valuable when you're serving in Africa, helping kids walk for the first time, removing tumors that have brought years of pain and criticism, and seeing shame turn to joy...it's easy to feel like you have a purpose when you're part of changing people's lives. But my worth isn't found in what I do...it's in who I am in Christ and what He's already done!
I realize now that even though God has placed a call on my life to be a part of such an incredible ministry, his purpose for me coming home for these three months is not about fitting back into society, having a job, being "successful" by my own terms or by the standards of the world...but, God's purpose for me is to know Him more and to become more like Him...his ultimate goal is for my sanctification. And if that means teaching me to wait on him for a job in order to build my faith a little stronger and give me the opportunity to develop a little more patience, then that's what He's gonna do...
God has often used music in my life to speak to me...and as I was thinking about God's desire to sanctify me and conform me into His image, I began to find that my focus moved from me and my problems to Him and His power...one of my new favorite songs says "Why should I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need" (Your love is strong by Jon Foreman)....and I realized "Yes, God does know what I need and He's already taking care of it...so quit freaking out, Becca."
When we're focused on our circumstances, it's so easy to lose sight of the One who sees our past, present, and future...it's easy to act like we're in control of our lives...we get weighed down by our problems and think that it's up to us to figure things out. But, when we realize how small we are and how big God really is, it is so humbling...God reminded me of how powerful He is through the lyrics of a Christian songwriter: "I guess I thought that I had figured You out...Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be. The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees. What do I know of You, who spoke me into motion...what do I know of holy? (song by Addison Road).
How is that I think I know better than the God of the universe...that my time table is better than his...am I really that proud to tell God that I'm right and He's wrong and that He needs to fit things into my will...sometimes I come to God like a whiny child, telling him what I want and when I want it...only to find out that His plans are better than mine and He knows best...
Needless to say, God humbled me and showed me that just as he has come through for me in the past, He will come through for me this time, in his own way and his own time. He wanted me to rest during this time...not just physically and emotionally, but to rest spiritually...to rest in Him, knowing that He is a good God who loves me and will take care of me...
So, I stopped whining and worrying and instead found myself resting and trusting...And what do you know? Today I got a call from Phoenix Children's Hospital that my temporary position was approved and I should be able to start working as soon as next week! That was such exciting news to hear, but I wasn't actually too surprised when my boss told me...something just told me that God was gonna come through for me on that one :) I'm not saying that God rewarded me for being patient because clearly, I was not too patient. I'm not saying that God gave me the job because I deserve it, because, like all of the good things He gives me, I don't deserve it. But, he blessed me because He is a good and faithful Father who delights in giving good things to His children...and the more I experience that in my own life, the more I learn to trust Him...because, just like He promised, He always comes through for us!
But to be honest, I have been a little restless...I tell God that I want to be DOING something...week one was ok, week two got harder, and by the time I hit week three, I sort of just hit a wall...I had been in contact with the manager of the department I was hoping to go back to at Phoenix Children's and then suddenly there was silence...a whole week of silence...I started to question why God had brought me home, where he wanted me, and why nothing was happening....You're probably thinking "But it hasn't even been three weeks yet...just wait!" But, I have realized even more through this that waiting is a huge challenge for me...
Over the last few weeks, one verse keeps coming back to me: "They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)...It seems like I haven't been able to get away from this verse...I've come across it in devotional readings, heard it on the radio, and even had someone pray that verse over my life at church...By that time, I was saying "Ok, God, I get the point...I need to wait." He also really struck me with Isaiah 64:4 "No eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for Him."
So, I have to admit, I'm not so good at waiting (if you haven't already noticed)...But, even in the waiting, I know that God has good things in store for me...I was talking to a good friend about the job situation and how I was frustrated being home but not being able to work. Then, he gently pointed out the possibility that maybe I was struggling with it so much because I had been finding my worth in my work...it wasn't easy to admit, but I realized that he was right...that was a big part of the problem. It's easy to feel valuable when you're serving in Africa, helping kids walk for the first time, removing tumors that have brought years of pain and criticism, and seeing shame turn to joy...it's easy to feel like you have a purpose when you're part of changing people's lives. But my worth isn't found in what I do...it's in who I am in Christ and what He's already done!
I realize now that even though God has placed a call on my life to be a part of such an incredible ministry, his purpose for me coming home for these three months is not about fitting back into society, having a job, being "successful" by my own terms or by the standards of the world...but, God's purpose for me is to know Him more and to become more like Him...his ultimate goal is for my sanctification. And if that means teaching me to wait on him for a job in order to build my faith a little stronger and give me the opportunity to develop a little more patience, then that's what He's gonna do...
God has often used music in my life to speak to me...and as I was thinking about God's desire to sanctify me and conform me into His image, I began to find that my focus moved from me and my problems to Him and His power...one of my new favorite songs says "Why should I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need" (Your love is strong by Jon Foreman)....and I realized "Yes, God does know what I need and He's already taking care of it...so quit freaking out, Becca."
When we're focused on our circumstances, it's so easy to lose sight of the One who sees our past, present, and future...it's easy to act like we're in control of our lives...we get weighed down by our problems and think that it's up to us to figure things out. But, when we realize how small we are and how big God really is, it is so humbling...God reminded me of how powerful He is through the lyrics of a Christian songwriter: "I guess I thought that I had figured You out...Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be. The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees. What do I know of You, who spoke me into motion...what do I know of holy? (song by Addison Road).
How is that I think I know better than the God of the universe...that my time table is better than his...am I really that proud to tell God that I'm right and He's wrong and that He needs to fit things into my will...sometimes I come to God like a whiny child, telling him what I want and when I want it...only to find out that His plans are better than mine and He knows best...
Needless to say, God humbled me and showed me that just as he has come through for me in the past, He will come through for me this time, in his own way and his own time. He wanted me to rest during this time...not just physically and emotionally, but to rest spiritually...to rest in Him, knowing that He is a good God who loves me and will take care of me...
So, I stopped whining and worrying and instead found myself resting and trusting...And what do you know? Today I got a call from Phoenix Children's Hospital that my temporary position was approved and I should be able to start working as soon as next week! That was such exciting news to hear, but I wasn't actually too surprised when my boss told me...something just told me that God was gonna come through for me on that one :) I'm not saying that God rewarded me for being patient because clearly, I was not too patient. I'm not saying that God gave me the job because I deserve it, because, like all of the good things He gives me, I don't deserve it. But, he blessed me because He is a good and faithful Father who delights in giving good things to His children...and the more I experience that in my own life, the more I learn to trust Him...because, just like He promised, He always comes through for us!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Home
"Surprise! I'm home!" That was one of the phrases I used the most over the past week...I found out back in June that Mercy Ships was going to let the nurses go home during the ship's generator project in South Africa since the hospital was going to be closed and they weren't going to be needing us for the eye and dental teams (which is what they originally thought they could use the nurses for in SA, but they ended up having enough people without us)....that meant that I would have 3 1/2 months to go home, see family and friends, and get ready for the next year in Sierra Leone (I'm going back in January for the whole outreach).
So, I decided back in June that I'd just come home and surprise everyone...after all, who doesn't love surprises! I only told my sister Joy, who picked me up from the airport last friday when I flew in...we had devised a plan together to have her birthday party the day after I came home so that we could just show up at my parent's house together and surprise all my family at the same time!
Friday, as my plane came into Phoenix, it was very surreal to look at the window and realize that I was home. I was so excited that I could barely stay in my seat...but at the same time, there was a part of me that was fearful for the unknown...I was here, but I wasn't sure what the next 3 1/2 months would hold...
The surprise went well (although it ended up being 3 or 4 separate surprises because of course everyone in my family showed up at different times! :)...there were lots of hugs, a few tears (mostly from my mom...I had a feeling she'd be happy to see me :) and of course a few looks of shock and confusion...one of my favorite moments was when my nephew walked in and saw me, came straight into my arms, started stroking my hair and then held my face and said "I knew you'd come back"...."Of course I came back sweetie," I told him...but then, I guess 8 months seems like an eternity to a 3-year old who can't grasp the concept that he can't ride his bike to Africa to come visit (although he did tell me at one point that he was going to do that!)
I had a great time with my family that day, followed by more fun surprises at church on Sunday night when I just walked in and saw lots of old friends, most of whom had no idea that I was going to be there...it was a fun reunion!
So, it's been a little over a week now that I've been back and while it's been great to see friends and family, there has been a mixture of emotions that have gone through me during this time....I really didn't experience the typical "culture shock" that you expect to have coming back from Africa...I experienced that in South Africa, where I stared in awe at the nice cars, big shopping malls, and all the white people...so, being in a more "westernized" culture in South Africa for a few weeks before coming back helped me transition in that sense...
But, on the other hand, it's always strange to come to a place that you call "home" and find that it isn't quite the way you left it...I know I expected myself to change in Africa, but I guess I didn't really think too much about all the changes that would happen at home...of course, I knew that it wouldn't be exactly the same, but it just kind of hit me all at once...all the new faces at church (I've been going here for 5 years and I don't know half the people anymore!), friends are engaged, married, pregnant, etc....groups of friends have changed, people have changed, families have grown, friends have moved, and my favorite worship leader doesn't sing at my 11am service anymore! I have no idea what people are talking about when they refer to the latest movies, songs, and local news...everything that once seemed so familiar has all of a sudden become a bit foreign and I find myself a little lost in the mix of it all...
You always think that coming "home" will bring a sense of familiarity and comfort, which it has...but, at the same time, there are days that I just want to curl up in my bunk bed and be rocked to sleep by the gentle movement of the ship...or go down the hall and knock on a friend's door and hang out, play games in our mid-ships lounge, tie a crying black baby on my back, or take a ride on a zimi through the dirty, crowded city streets...to me, that crazy, foreign life became familiar and comfortable in Togo...and while there are definitely certain aspects that I don't miss, I do feel like I left a part of my heart in Africa with my "Mercy Ships family" who are still there, my Togolese friends and patients, and inside my big white metal box that I have called "home" for the last 8 months...
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be back in Arizona...It's been great to see my family and friends and I have been blown away by how supportive and receptive people have been in letting me share about my experiences in Africa...it has been so encouraging to have so many people who genuinely care about what Africa was like, what I was doing on the ship, experiences I had, etc....even people I barely know! That has really helped me to process things a little more and adjust to being back...It has been really great to hear all the "new" songs on the radio (we couldn't download music in Africa), jump in the car and drive (I REALLY missed driving!), and have freedom to go wherever whenever again (and I don't even have to scan out when I leave home ha ha).
But, when you are really busy working and helping people, developing deep relationships with friends (the same ones you live with, work with, travel with, and hang out with almost 24/7), and you are a part of something that is life-changing for others, it is easy to feel purpose and direction in your life...I think the best word to describe the last 8 months of my life would be: full. It has been so fulfilling serving God, seeing lives changed, and developing so many deep relationships with some really amazing people from all over the world.
So, over the last week I've been asking God to show me my purpose in being home...What is it he wants me to do? What is it He wants to teach me? How does He want to use me? I feel like I'm just waiting right now...waiting on a job (things are looking hopeful, but still up in the air with my old hospital), waiting for the next step, waiting to hear His voice...but, then, God reminded me through His word this week that "Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength" (Isaiah 40:31) I think that waiting is actually much harder than doing...I tell God "I'd rather be busy serving than just waiting around for something, Lord"...but, as hard as it may be, I had a friend remind me that "He makes me lie down" (Psalm 23) for a reason...So, for now, I'm waiting on the Lord, allowing Him to refresh my soul, and trusting Him to bring purpose to this short season of my life before I go back to Africa...I know He has a purpose...He always does...and in His time, I know that He'll make it known to me and I'll look back and see that this season of my life has been just as full as the last.
So, I decided back in June that I'd just come home and surprise everyone...after all, who doesn't love surprises! I only told my sister Joy, who picked me up from the airport last friday when I flew in...we had devised a plan together to have her birthday party the day after I came home so that we could just show up at my parent's house together and surprise all my family at the same time!
Friday, as my plane came into Phoenix, it was very surreal to look at the window and realize that I was home. I was so excited that I could barely stay in my seat...but at the same time, there was a part of me that was fearful for the unknown...I was here, but I wasn't sure what the next 3 1/2 months would hold...
The surprise went well (although it ended up being 3 or 4 separate surprises because of course everyone in my family showed up at different times! :)...there were lots of hugs, a few tears (mostly from my mom...I had a feeling she'd be happy to see me :) and of course a few looks of shock and confusion...one of my favorite moments was when my nephew walked in and saw me, came straight into my arms, started stroking my hair and then held my face and said "I knew you'd come back"...."Of course I came back sweetie," I told him...but then, I guess 8 months seems like an eternity to a 3-year old who can't grasp the concept that he can't ride his bike to Africa to come visit (although he did tell me at one point that he was going to do that!)
I had a great time with my family that day, followed by more fun surprises at church on Sunday night when I just walked in and saw lots of old friends, most of whom had no idea that I was going to be there...it was a fun reunion!
So, it's been a little over a week now that I've been back and while it's been great to see friends and family, there has been a mixture of emotions that have gone through me during this time....I really didn't experience the typical "culture shock" that you expect to have coming back from Africa...I experienced that in South Africa, where I stared in awe at the nice cars, big shopping malls, and all the white people...so, being in a more "westernized" culture in South Africa for a few weeks before coming back helped me transition in that sense...
But, on the other hand, it's always strange to come to a place that you call "home" and find that it isn't quite the way you left it...I know I expected myself to change in Africa, but I guess I didn't really think too much about all the changes that would happen at home...of course, I knew that it wouldn't be exactly the same, but it just kind of hit me all at once...all the new faces at church (I've been going here for 5 years and I don't know half the people anymore!), friends are engaged, married, pregnant, etc....groups of friends have changed, people have changed, families have grown, friends have moved, and my favorite worship leader doesn't sing at my 11am service anymore! I have no idea what people are talking about when they refer to the latest movies, songs, and local news...everything that once seemed so familiar has all of a sudden become a bit foreign and I find myself a little lost in the mix of it all...
You always think that coming "home" will bring a sense of familiarity and comfort, which it has...but, at the same time, there are days that I just want to curl up in my bunk bed and be rocked to sleep by the gentle movement of the ship...or go down the hall and knock on a friend's door and hang out, play games in our mid-ships lounge, tie a crying black baby on my back, or take a ride on a zimi through the dirty, crowded city streets...to me, that crazy, foreign life became familiar and comfortable in Togo...and while there are definitely certain aspects that I don't miss, I do feel like I left a part of my heart in Africa with my "Mercy Ships family" who are still there, my Togolese friends and patients, and inside my big white metal box that I have called "home" for the last 8 months...
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be back in Arizona...It's been great to see my family and friends and I have been blown away by how supportive and receptive people have been in letting me share about my experiences in Africa...it has been so encouraging to have so many people who genuinely care about what Africa was like, what I was doing on the ship, experiences I had, etc....even people I barely know! That has really helped me to process things a little more and adjust to being back...It has been really great to hear all the "new" songs on the radio (we couldn't download music in Africa), jump in the car and drive (I REALLY missed driving!), and have freedom to go wherever whenever again (and I don't even have to scan out when I leave home ha ha).
But, when you are really busy working and helping people, developing deep relationships with friends (the same ones you live with, work with, travel with, and hang out with almost 24/7), and you are a part of something that is life-changing for others, it is easy to feel purpose and direction in your life...I think the best word to describe the last 8 months of my life would be: full. It has been so fulfilling serving God, seeing lives changed, and developing so many deep relationships with some really amazing people from all over the world.
So, over the last week I've been asking God to show me my purpose in being home...What is it he wants me to do? What is it He wants to teach me? How does He want to use me? I feel like I'm just waiting right now...waiting on a job (things are looking hopeful, but still up in the air with my old hospital), waiting for the next step, waiting to hear His voice...but, then, God reminded me through His word this week that "Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength" (Isaiah 40:31) I think that waiting is actually much harder than doing...I tell God "I'd rather be busy serving than just waiting around for something, Lord"...but, as hard as it may be, I had a friend remind me that "He makes me lie down" (Psalm 23) for a reason...So, for now, I'm waiting on the Lord, allowing Him to refresh my soul, and trusting Him to bring purpose to this short season of my life before I go back to Africa...I know He has a purpose...He always does...and in His time, I know that He'll make it known to me and I'll look back and see that this season of my life has been just as full as the last.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Deer in Durban
Well, today we left the ship. It was a bit surreal packing up all the boxes to move everything over to Applebosch and watching everyone pile into Landrovers and leave the ship behind....for the next four months while they're doing the shipyard project on the ship, it'll be solid ground for the rest of us! It basically looked like we were moving one HUGE family! There were two big moving trucks that were filled up, two big buses, and lots of Landrovers. It was kind of wierd leaving everyone, even though I know I'll see them in a couple weeks...I'm SO excited for our little vacation in Capetown though!
Becca T and I had made plans to meet a friend of a friend in Durban (it's so nice to have connections)...but there are no taxis inside the port and we were told we wouldn't be able to walk to the main road. So, we loaded up our luggage with one of the families headed to Applebosch and had them drop us off on the "main road"...but unfortunately, it wasn't actually the "main road"...more like a highway in the port...we pretty much were literally "kicked to the curb"...I think our ship driver was just confused because the port is so much bigger in Durban that he really thought we were at the main road...but we were pretty far from it!
So, after waiting about ten minutes at the curb and seeing NO taxis, we decided we should find out if taxis even come on that road...There was a pickup truck for some company helping another truck that had broken down on the side of the road...we asked the man in the first truck about taxis and he said we weren't at the main road and wouldn't find any, but he was happy to give us a lift after they finished fixing the other truck...So, after another few minutes, "Pastor Paul" motioned us back over and we hopped into the bed of the truck (I was SO glad Becca decided we should pray before we started off our adventure!)...After our nice long security briefing on the ship about staying safe and being smart, we were now riding with a stranger in the back of a pickup truck in South Africa...but, we really didn't know what else to do...there was no bank in the port, so we had absolutely no cash (except for US dollars, which is no good in South Africa unless you're at a bank)...we had phones, but no South African SIM cards to call, so that did us no good either...So basically, we were stuck...as we rode along, we just laughed at the situation and hoped one of our buses didn't drive by with a bunch of people wearing horrified looks on their faces! :)
I guess I wasn't really prepared for culture shock in South Africa and the whole "re-entry process" they always talk about...I mean, I know it's a lot nicer and more developed than Togo, but I forgot about the whole western mentality part...Right away, Roger (Isabelle's aunt's friend... I love all our distant connections) starts asking us a bunch of questions about the ship and the work..."You have to PAY to work for them?!! Why do YOU have to pay!"..."How do you make a living? Who supports you? What are you going to do after this"...the questions kept coming...we were being bombarded and our worlds were colliding...It was clear that money was important to this man...I wasn't too surprised when he told us he owned his own business and started talking about his status and things like that...Becca and I were sitting in the back quietly (which is of course almost unheard of for us!), taking it all in, sitting in shock...Wow, this guy just didn't get it...we hadn't expected the culture shock to hit us right away like this!
We made it to our meeting point, thanked Roger for the ride and found Megan waiting patiently (poor girl had to wait an extra long time due to our delays)...She drove us around South Beach and pointed out some fun places, including Durban stadium, where they held some of the World Cup games...we got out for a bit and walked along the boardwalk....I kinda felt like I was in California...It was a beautiful place!
So, afterward, she had asked if she could drop us off at the mall for a couple of hours because her sister had just had a baby and she wanted to go visit the baby...as we were driving to the mall, Becca and I were taking in the city, staring in shock at all the skyscrapers, nice cars, and all the nice buildings...She dropped us off at Pavilion Mall, which is a HUGE mall...we walked in and just stood there for a minute...where do we go, what do we do...we were like deer in the headlights...So, we just started walking...and staring at all the stores...we only ended up going into a few of them in the entire two hours while we were there...it was just too overwhelming...we decided instead to go to a nice coffee shop and sit and talk...
As we were sitting there inside the mall sipping our lattes, it sort of felt like we were back in the states and had just met up in the mall for a coffee date...It was so nice...but almost didn't feel real! After having a nice chat, we started walking around again and SCORE...we found a candy store! It was kind of like Sweet Factory...we were seriously like little kids in the candy store...it's been a long time since we've had some good sugar! So, we filled up our little bags, took a couple photos (yes, I know we're SUCH tourists) and headed out...
So, tonight I am sitting in Megan's cozy little home, enjoying the little things in life...couches, cats (I'm not even a cat person, but I miss house pets), fresh juice, bathtubs, and solid ground that is not rocking back and forth....
It's funny because even though there are a lot of things that are so exciting to see and experience again, there is a part of me that can't believe we're gonna be living on land for these next few months! There is just something really special about the ship that I absolutely love!
Well, tomorrow Becca and I head to Capetown to spend a couple weeks with an old friend of mine who lives there! I feel a little more prepared to travel now we have cash and working cell phones! Let the adventures continue!
Becca T and I had made plans to meet a friend of a friend in Durban (it's so nice to have connections)...but there are no taxis inside the port and we were told we wouldn't be able to walk to the main road. So, we loaded up our luggage with one of the families headed to Applebosch and had them drop us off on the "main road"...but unfortunately, it wasn't actually the "main road"...more like a highway in the port...we pretty much were literally "kicked to the curb"...I think our ship driver was just confused because the port is so much bigger in Durban that he really thought we were at the main road...but we were pretty far from it!
So, after waiting about ten minutes at the curb and seeing NO taxis, we decided we should find out if taxis even come on that road...There was a pickup truck for some company helping another truck that had broken down on the side of the road...we asked the man in the first truck about taxis and he said we weren't at the main road and wouldn't find any, but he was happy to give us a lift after they finished fixing the other truck...So, after another few minutes, "Pastor Paul" motioned us back over and we hopped into the bed of the truck (I was SO glad Becca decided we should pray before we started off our adventure!)...After our nice long security briefing on the ship about staying safe and being smart, we were now riding with a stranger in the back of a pickup truck in South Africa...but, we really didn't know what else to do...there was no bank in the port, so we had absolutely no cash (except for US dollars, which is no good in South Africa unless you're at a bank)...we had phones, but no South African SIM cards to call, so that did us no good either...So basically, we were stuck...as we rode along, we just laughed at the situation and hoped one of our buses didn't drive by with a bunch of people wearing horrified looks on their faces! :)
Becca was excited for the ride
We documented the adventure with pictures :)
"Pastor Paul" dropped us off at the main road...we basically looked like we were in the projects...awesome...so, since we didn't have any Rand, we couldn't take the buses...we had to take a private taxi so that they could stop at an ATM...but, after about 20 minutes of standing on the sidewalk wating for a taxi and seeing zero (SO different than the hundreds we saw in Togo), we started to think of other options...and then...voila...out of nowhere, this nice BMW pulls up and we see Isabelle and a few others from the ship! What a relief! The car was packed full because they were heading to the airport, but Isabelle's friend agreed to come pick us up after the airport run...
So, we did some more waiting...and laughing...this would only happen to us :) About forty minutes later, the car returned and we hopped in...
Becca and I in "the projects"
I guess I wasn't really prepared for culture shock in South Africa and the whole "re-entry process" they always talk about...I mean, I know it's a lot nicer and more developed than Togo, but I forgot about the whole western mentality part...Right away, Roger (Isabelle's aunt's friend... I love all our distant connections) starts asking us a bunch of questions about the ship and the work..."You have to PAY to work for them?!! Why do YOU have to pay!"..."How do you make a living? Who supports you? What are you going to do after this"...the questions kept coming...we were being bombarded and our worlds were colliding...It was clear that money was important to this man...I wasn't too surprised when he told us he owned his own business and started talking about his status and things like that...Becca and I were sitting in the back quietly (which is of course almost unheard of for us!), taking it all in, sitting in shock...Wow, this guy just didn't get it...we hadn't expected the culture shock to hit us right away like this!
We made it to our meeting point, thanked Roger for the ride and found Megan waiting patiently (poor girl had to wait an extra long time due to our delays)...She drove us around South Beach and pointed out some fun places, including Durban stadium, where they held some of the World Cup games...we got out for a bit and walked along the boardwalk....I kinda felt like I was in California...It was a beautiful place!
So, afterward, she had asked if she could drop us off at the mall for a couple of hours because her sister had just had a baby and she wanted to go visit the baby...as we were driving to the mall, Becca and I were taking in the city, staring in shock at all the skyscrapers, nice cars, and all the nice buildings...She dropped us off at Pavilion Mall, which is a HUGE mall...we walked in and just stood there for a minute...where do we go, what do we do...we were like deer in the headlights...So, we just started walking...and staring at all the stores...we only ended up going into a few of them in the entire two hours while we were there...it was just too overwhelming...we decided instead to go to a nice coffee shop and sit and talk...
At the mall
Looking down from the top story at the mall
As we were sitting there inside the mall sipping our lattes, it sort of felt like we were back in the states and had just met up in the mall for a coffee date...It was so nice...but almost didn't feel real! After having a nice chat, we started walking around again and SCORE...we found a candy store! It was kind of like Sweet Factory...we were seriously like little kids in the candy store...it's been a long time since we've had some good sugar! So, we filled up our little bags, took a couple photos (yes, I know we're SUCH tourists) and headed out...
So, tonight I am sitting in Megan's cozy little home, enjoying the little things in life...couches, cats (I'm not even a cat person, but I miss house pets), fresh juice, bathtubs, and solid ground that is not rocking back and forth....
Our cozy house in Capetown
It's funny because even though there are a lot of things that are so exciting to see and experience again, there is a part of me that can't believe we're gonna be living on land for these next few months! There is just something really special about the ship that I absolutely love!
Well, tomorrow Becca and I head to Capetown to spend a couple weeks with an old friend of mine who lives there! I feel a little more prepared to travel now we have cash and working cell phones! Let the adventures continue!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)