Desole

Desole...Sorry...This was one of the words I had to use far too often today. There was an overwhelming number of people at screening today. The people had lined up early in the morning to get a spot in line. The line wrapped all the way around the building. When we got inside, I was shocked to find that there were hundreds of people already seated, waiting expectantly for the possibility of getting scheduled for surgery.

As a pre-screener, I basically took the people who came through the line and asked them one by one what they needed surgery for, how long they'd had it, any related symptoms, etc. Then, if they had something that we would be able to operate on, I sent them over to the final screening team, who did a more extensive screening and then either sent them over to get registered for surgery or told them the disappointing news that we wouldn't be able to help them. 

We were given a criteria for who to refer for the final screening: anyone with maxillo-facial problems (facial tumors, cleft lips/palates, large goiters, etc), orthopedic cases (bowed legs, clubbed feet, etc), problems caused by burns (usually contractures, but it could be any type of major problem caused by a burn injury that a plastic surgeon could operate on), fistula patients (our VVF surgeons specialize in this), large hernias, eye problems (mostly cataracts...we referred these patients to a special eye surgery screening day) or any other problem that we thought could be potentially treated with the group of surgeons on board. The rest we had to turn away.

It's hard when you see so many people with such a huge array of problems and have to tell them that you can't help them. You can see the hope in their eyes and it's so heart-wrenching to shatter those hopes with that word "Desole"...My translator had a tougher job than me...he had to be the one to relay the bad news. My French isn't good enough to explain that the problem they have isn't a problem that our surgeons can treat. I was kind of thankful that I couldn't tell them all of the bad news myself. It was hard enough just saying "Desole." At one point, there were probably 6-8 people in a row that I had to turn away...I could hardly handle it anymore. "Please God, give me someone I can say yes to," I prayed under my breath. He came through and answered that prayer. Still, it was extremely difficult for me emotionally to see the disappointment that so many experienced when they found out we couldn't help them. At one point, another nurse came over and asked if I was ok. I think I must've looked like I was about to burst into tears. I definitely felt like I would. 

Every person who came through was sent over to a team that was praying for each patient and we got to pray for several people as well, as God led us.  When I got back to the ship, I couldn't help but think of all the people who went home without a surgery appointment card, the looks of disappointment, and the overwhelming need we had seen today. I couldn't help but think of Jesus traveling around with all the disciples and the masses of people that came with so many needs. He healed so many and I wanted to do the same.

I was feeling a little discouraged about it all that night and went out on Deck 7 to sit outside and read and pray. A few friends came by and we started talking about the day, the disappointment, and how discouraged I had felt sending so many people away. But, they reminded me of all the people who DID get their surgery appointment cards, the hundreds of people that we had scheduled that day and the many more that we would sign up for surgery in the next weeks of screening. I thought of all those people who left with big smiles on their faces, all the people who would be healed, and all the lives that would be changed....I was reminded of the story of the little boy throwing the starfish back into the ocean...and I realized that I might not be able to help everyone, but at least I can do my part in reaching one life at a time.