Bittersweet

Bittersweet...it's the best word I can use to describe how I feel about leaving Phoenix and heading to Africa...It was strange saying goodbye to everyone at Phoenix Children's last week and realizing I wouldn't be going back to work there again the next week...It was hard saying goodbye to my little nephews and trying to explain to 5 year old Drew why his Aunt Becca has to miss his 6th birthday...there have been lots of sad moments with family and friends...I've never been good at saying goodbyes and I get attached to people easily which does not make for a good combo...But, in the midst of the sadness, there is so much excitement over all that God has in store for me in this upcoming year...

I have been blessed beyond belief by an outpouring of love from friends and family, prayers, cards, donations, video messages (which I forced everyone at my going away party to do & am VERY glad I did), and lots of hugs (and yes, I had to get multiple hugs from everyone because they have to last for the whole year!) In a way, it was harder to leave because I was reminded by all of those things just how very blessed I am to have so many amazing people in my life! But, at the same time, the support and encouragement to go out and serve has been really helpful as well.

I'm sitting here in the airport now waiting to get on my flight and the realization that I'm gonna be in Africa for a year is beginning to set in. I feel so honored and unworthy to be able to do something like this. As I've prepared for my time with Mercy Ships, a lot of people have made comments to me about how much I was giving up and sacrificing to go on this trip. But, even though it has been hard to leave loved ones behind, I feel like I have been the one who's on the receiving end...God has given me this amazing gift of a year in Africa to make a difference for Him....it is an incredible opportunity and I feel so blessed to be able to do this...I know I'm not perfect and I have plenty of flaws and weaknesses, but yet God has chosen to use me...and that in and of itself is a humbling thing.

I know that many of you are praying for me during this time and I can't tell you how much that means to me! So, I just ask that your prayer would be: " that our God will count [me] worthy of [my] calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in [me] and [me] in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ"  (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12)

This morning, as I was getting ready to head to the airport, I was thinking about my decision to leave my home here in America and go to Africa...As I was thinking about it, an old song I used to sing as a kid popped into my head...It says "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back."

When God calls us, there is no room for looking back..There's no place for fear or doubt...wherever God takes you in your life, you can know that He is ALWAYS going to come through for you...He will always be faithful...He will always be by your side through whatever comes your way...I have seen this time and time again not only in my journey to Mercy Ships, but throughout my entire Christian walk.

I have seen God grow my faith in huge ways, especially in the last few months. I've had a lot of people ask me if I'm worried about getting a job when I get home in light of the economy, others have asked me if I'm worried about getting sick in Africa or being attacked by pirates, and a bunch of other legitimate questions...But, honestly, I can say that God has given me peace about all those things...I know that the God I serve is so much bigger than anything I could ever worry about...and He has always taken care of me, protected me, and guided me, so I have nothing to fear...and it is only by the grace of God that I can say that...it's not because of myself, but only because of God and the way HE has proven Himself to me in the past....

So, as I look ahead to the upcoming year in Africa, I remember the words of one of my favorite songs. It says: 

"Take this heart of mine, there's no doubt...I'm in better hands now"