It seemed like a matter of days until Selim would pass. He had come to the hospital from the refugee camp for a bladder stone, but after he was taken to surgery, it became apparent that there were multiple other problems and that he would not have a simple recovery. He had been in the hospital for several weeks when I arrived and his condition had continued to deteriorate. My heart broke for this boy, but the whole situation seemed so hopeless. The surgeons had placed a feeding tube due to his weight loss and inability to eat after his initial surgery, but in spite of great surgeons and tedious nursing care, it seemed like he was at a standstill...he just wasn't improving and it appeared that he didn't want to. I looked in his eyes and saw pain and hopelessness and it broke my heart. I did my best to make him comfortable, take care of his pain and nausea, and show him that he was loved. For five days straight, I watched his suffering and prayed that he would turn a corner.
Then one day, the missionary surgeon who was caring for Selim told me a story of hope. He had cared for a patient several months before who everyone thought was going to die. "No one thought he would walk out of this place alive, but he did...and proved to be a miracle." He said it with a glimmer in his eye and I knew that after years of working in this place, he wasn't ready to give up on Selim yet either. His story gave me hope that Selim would one day walk out of that same hospital, proving to be a miracle. That day, I sent out text messages and requests on social media for prayers for Selim. I couldn't give up on him yet and I would rally an army of spiritual warriors who fight for him in prayer.
The next day, Selim seemed to be feeling a bit better and my heart lightened a bit knowing that God was working in him. That afternoon, the social worker came by to see patients and spent some time talking to Selim. While they were talking, Selim asked about Jesus and she was able to share the gospel with him. The next thing I knew, I was carrying a medication over to Selim and realized they were getting ready to pray. I wasn't sure what was being said because it was all in Rohingya, but Selim was sitting on the edge of his bed with his hands lifted up, eyes shut tight and praying intently. I joined the prayer in my heart and could see that something had changed when we finished. I asked the social worker what they were praying for and she said "Selim asked me about Jesus, so I shared with him and he just prayed to receive Jesus in his life!" I was so happy to hear the news and thought back to all the prayers that had gone up for this boy's life the day before. Jesus had heard those prayers and now Selim was one of his own! I imagined the celebration that was going on in heaven...there was certainly some celebrating in my own heart!
The rest of the afternoon, that hollow depressed look in Selim's eyes disappeared and was replaced by an interest in life and a sense of hope. He was finally engaging with us and expressing a desire to live! Several hours later, I brought over the milk for Selim's feeding tube. He started pointing and saying something to me in Rohingya, so I brought over a translator. "He doesn't want to eat through his tube anymore. He wants to eat normally," he told me. I could hardly believe my ears...Selim hadn't eaten anything by mouth in weeks. He really was turning a corner and I could see the answers to my prayers unfolding before my eyes. We gave Selim something light to eat and he kept it down!
Over the next few days, Selim continued to improve. He asked for his foley catheter to be taken out and continued to take steps in the right direction. Within another week, he was asking to stand and try to walk. He was still weak and needed a walker to help him, but he was determined and with each milestone, he would flex his muscles and give me a smile. It was hard to believe that this was the same boy who I could barely talk to a week before, with a hollow stare, a pained expression and no interest in life. Every time I looked at him, I was amazed. But why should I be shocked, I thought to myself. Jesus had stepped into Selim's heart and now that new life spilled out of him. His smile was contagious and the newfound joy he had discovered in such a dark place could only come from the Author of life himself, Jesus Christ.
Finally getting some fresh air
As Selim continued to gain weight and get stronger, I found that I could hardly keep up with enough food to give him. He was like a typical teenage boy, ravenous for food every couple of hours. I found myself visiting our "canteen" multiple times throughout the day buying milk, peanuts, ice cream, chips, bananas or whatever snacks Selim was in the mood for that day. I didn't want to deny him anything he wanted to eat because I wanted him to get back to a healthy weight as quickly as possible. I occasionally got funny looks from the workers at the canteen and I couldn't help but think that they were judging me and wondering how I could possibly eat so much! I would tell them in my broken Bangla that it wasn't for me and they would just nod with a doubtful look and I would just laugh. I didn't care if they judged me as long as Selim gained weight! One day, Selim asked for cow liver for breakfast. I would normally try to talk someone out of that type of request, but it was my sweet Selim and I knew it was better for him than a lot of the other things he asked me to buy him. So I sent one of our ward clerks across the street to the market to buy it for him.
My days with Selim were so precious and over our time together, we formed a very sweet bond. Every time he reached his arms out and said "Auntie Becca!" with a big smile across his face, my heart melted. I loved this boy as my own nephew and I was so grateful that God had brought him into my life. But I knew that I would soon be moving over to the diphtheria clinic nearly two hours away and I wondered how Selim would handle it. The morning for me to leave came and I could hardly look at Selim. I gave hugs to everyone else, but saved him for last. Finally, Selim motioned me over to his bed and asked what was wrong. He could see the tears welling up in my eyes and I told him that I had been asked to help at the diphtheria clinic in the refugee camp for the next three weeks and that I might not see him again. Selim reached up his arms to embrace me and gave me a long hug as the tears rolled down both of our cheeks. I didn't want to say goodbye. It seemed too soon. I wanted to see him healthy and strong and walking out of the hospital like the other child I had been told about. I reminded Selim that I would continue to pray for him every day and check in with my friends there to make sure he was getting stronger. But, from a distance, I couldn't bring Selim his favorite foods or encourage him to walk or take his medicine. I realized in that moment that I had to release control and give him to God. I knew that Selim was safe in the hands of my Father and that he would complete the good work He had started in Selim's life.
Throughout the next week, I got reports that Selim was continuing to eat and get stronger. His central line had been removed and his wounds had healed up nicely. Now he was going to physical therapy every day to regain his strength. I was encouraged with the updates on his progress, but I was hopeful I would get to visit him and my other friends one more time. My schedule opened up at the clinic and after a long stretch of shifts, I was given two days off. Thankfully, the transportation arrangements all worked out and I headed back to the hospital to see my dear friends and my sweet Selim.
No one told Selim I was coming back for a visit because we all wanted to surprise him. I walked into the ward and saw him smiling at me from across the room. But the second I reached out to hug him, he began to cry and wouldn't let go of me. He couldn't believe I had come back! And I couldn't believe how good he looked! His cheeks had plumped up and he looked so much healthier and stronger than when I had left. In the ten days I was gone, he had gained just over eight pounds! After our sweet reunion, Selim wouldn't let me leave his side. He asked me to take him down for his physical therapy and when we got there, he said "You stay right there!" He didn't want me leaving again. While I was only back for two short days, we had a very sweet time together having tea and snacks at the canteen, going for "walks" with me pushing his wheelchair, watching silly movies and sharing lots of hugs and smiles.
Selim during physical therapy
Tea and treats with Auntie Becca
While it was sad to leave Selim the second time, it was much sweeter being given that gift of a reunion that neither one of us ever knew we would have. And as the weeks went by, Selim continued to gain weight and get stronger. Soon, he was walking on his own and ready to go home. And Selim walked out of there just like the other little boy that no one thought would survive. The skeleton of a boy who wanted to die got his life back when he gave his life to Jesus. And he walked out healthy and strong because we have a great and amazing God who answers prayers and shows his love and power through little boys like Selim. I pray that Selim will always remember that he was brought from death to life both spiritually and physically and that he will point others to Christ so that they can experience the same.
